Chapter 43 - Help Part 2 of 2

 A/N - In this chapter I was honored to be able to collaborate with CathyTea. For those of you that are involved in CathyTea’s Pen Pal Project you may be aware that Kaitlin, Leroy and even Newt are a part of that and each have pen pals they are corresponding with regarding their experiences as it relates to this story. Kaitlin's pen pal is Meadow who is written by CathyTea.

As an author I have gained additional insight into these characters through their correspondence - especially Newt who we haven't heard from (so far) in this story.  To see how he’s handling his wife and kids running away, go here.

If you would like to read some amazing stories or even participate (you don't have to have a side story) head on over to the Pen Pal forum thread.  The stories are wildly varied and it doesn’t matter which Sims game is your favorite. In fact Meadow is TS4 while Kaitlin is TS3.

In Meadow's last letter to Kaitlin, she gave Kaitlin her phone number. In this chapter, Kaitlin decides to call Meadow. Meadow's dialogue was written by CathyTea. It was so much fun to do.It was like a real phone conversation! Thank you so much CathyTea! You are amazing. If you haven't you should check out her amazing stories on her blog here.

Now on to Kaitlin's story....

Kaitlin was nervous. It had been a week since her last episode and this afternoon was her first appointment. She had no idea what was going to happen. She was just about ready to call Leroy and make up an excuse not to go. She felt guilty because he gave her $500 to use for this, but still.

Then she thought about Meadow’s last letter. Meadow had encouraged her to seek help. In fact Meadow was very much involved in a crisis center for domestic abuse so she should know what she was talking about. And in her last letter she did something she never expected. Meadow included her phone number. Kaitlin wrote her back and included her number as well, so hopefully if she did call, Meadow would know for sure who was calling.

Kaitlin took out her phone and pulled up her contacts and found Meadow's number. She stared at for a minute thinking. Should I call? What would she say? Will she think I’m certifiable? Kaitlin looked at the number a little longer and decided. Now or never and touched Meadow's name on her phone and it began to ring.

Kaitlin held her breath both wishing and she would and wouldn't answer. After a minute the voice of an angel answered saying only one word, “Kaitlin?”

"Yes, it’s me. Meadow is this really you?" asked Kaitlin holding her breath.

"Kaitlin! I can't believe it! You sound just like you! How are you? Is everything OK?" Meadow’s words were tinkly and rushed.

Kaitlin was afraid she had overstepped and maybe she shouldn’t have called without first establishing a time. "Meadow! I can't believe I called you, but I am fine, really. Everything's okay. You sound even sweeter than I imagined! Like an angel. Is it okay that I called? Is this a bad time?" she said apologetically.

"Oh, it's a perfect time! I'm on a walk, actually! I just had to get out of the house. It was so... noisy! And I'd been in class all day, and I'm trying to put together my thoughts on the ways that painting on large canvases helps to reintegrate split off... Oh, never mind! It's just a project for class, a paper I'm writing, and Jena and Mizuki and Youssef were making all sorts of noise, and I just had to get out! But now I'm outside, and I can breathe! What's new with you? I'm so glad you called!"

Meadow’s voice somehow calmed Kaitlin and she was able to relax listening to Meadow’s funny way of talking. Just like she did in her letters. So very Meadow. She made Kaitlin laugh.

"With 8 of us living in a 2 bedroom apartment, noise is my life!” said Kaitlin still laughing, “If it gets quiet - something is wrong! From one mom to another, don't forget that little tidbit. When you don't hear Jena making noise, she is doing something she shouldn't be - especially when she starts to bring playmates over! I'm glad you had a chance to get our for a few minutes though. Are you sure I'm not disturbing your quiet time?"

"Not at all!" replied Meadow, with an audible exhale, and her voice dropped half an octave when she continued. "I'm here. You're here! I'm ready to listen."

"Okay," said Kaitlin with a sigh. Here goes she thought. "Ever since I got your last letter with your number, I have been tempted to call, but didn't want to impose. But now, well, Meadow, something did happen and it scared me really bad. So I am taking your and Leroy's advice and I have an appointment with a therapist this afternoon. I am so nervous and just wanted to talk to you before I went and a letter would just take too long. So here I am."

"I'm glad you called! And it's normal to be nervous. Even your therapist will be expecting you to feel nervous! This is one of the hard parts--heading to the first visit. You can do it!"

"That’s the thing though," said Kaitlin and then started talking fast just to get everything out, "You see I had a really bad flashback last week and I thought Leroy was Newt and Reese came in and saw it and it upset everyone. My poor baby - young man. He cried and Meadow, I haven't seen him cry since he was a little boy," Kaitlin took a breath. It felt good to get that out. She finished slower, "I can't do that to him or Leroy again. So, I agreed to go. It's today, oh, I already said that." Then she snorted a little and said, "Leroy is taking me. He said for moral support but he probably wants to be sure I get there."

"Oh, I'm glad he's taking you," Meadow said. "Leroy's really there for you. You know, going there is good. Right now, it sounds like you're going for them. And that's fine because it gets you in the door. And maybe sometime, maybe even before too long, you can go for you."

"You are right. He is here for me," then she giggled, "in more ways than one. He just walked in. I guess I am doing this. Wish me luck. And thank you for being there. It really helps more that you know.”

Then she turned and lowered her voice so Leroy wouldn’t hear, “I was thinking of excuses to back out when I called you,” then in a normal voice she added, “I guess we aren't just pen pals anymore are we? Hug Jena for me. Bye now."

"Oh! Good luck! Let me know how it goes! I will hug Jena for you! And big hugs to all your littlies! Until next time! Bye!"

Kaitlin disconnected the call feeling better but still very nervous. Meadow helped her just by talking to her and not judging her. Meadow said she was going for her family and not herself. She wondered why she would say that. Shouldn’t she be doing this for her family?

She felt Leroy’s eyes on her back and turned around. He had a questioning look on his face but didn’t say anything. She knew he was dying to know who she was talking to but right now she couldn’t. She needed to keep Meadow to herself a little longer. She smiled and said, “I will tell you later, no secrets.”

“Ready then?” he asked holding his hand out to her.


Kaitlin shrugged and frowned, “As ready as I will ever be.”

 * * * *

Kaitlin sat in the waiting room with Leroy. He looked so calm. How could he look so calm while she felt like throwing up. He insisted on coming ‘for moral support’ but she knew better. He needed to see her go into the doctor's office.

Before she arrived she had filled out so much paperwork and completed so many questionnaires she couldn't think straight. Leroy offered to help, but she refused. She already looked weak to him, she didn't want to validate it with her crazy answers.

Finally it was her turn. When the receptionist walked over she got a sick feeling. Leroy hugged her one last time and whispered that he loved her and it would be okay before she followed the young woman back to Dr. Bailey’s office.

She didn't know what she expected but it wasn't what she saw when she walked in Dr. Bailey’s office. It was anything but clinical. She felt like she was sitting in someone's cozy living room. Dr. Bailey was a beautiful soft spoken woman around the same age as Kaitlin and she immediately put her at ease.

They spent her hour just getting acquainted. Dr. Bailey confirmed her diagnosis of PTSD. She wanted to see her once a week for the next few weeks. Then Dr. Bailey asked her if they could bring her 'friend' in to talk about her diagnosis. Kaitlin hesitated and Dr. Bailey immediately said it wasn't required. Then she asked if she could give her some material for him to read. Kaitlin nodded. She wasn't sure why she didn't want Dr. Bailey to talk to Leroy yet. She just wasn't ready. It was hard enough to admit she had a problem, much less burden him with so much more of it.

Dr. Bailey walked out with Kaitlin and told the receptionist to book her weekly appointments for the next few weeks. Leroy saw them and stood up and walked over. Dr. Bailey looked at Leroy and her eyes lit up. She turned to Kaitlin and asked, “Is this your Leroy?”

Kaitlin smiled, “Yes. Leroy, meet Dr. Bailey, Dr. Bailey, this is Leroy Chapman.”

“Hi Shania,” said Leroy grinning.

“Hi Leroy,” replied Dr. Bailey smiling ear to ear. Instead of shaking her hand Leroy pulled her into a bear hug lifting her off the floor, “Oh my god! How have you been?” she said after her put her back on the ground.

“Good. Better since Kate came into my life nearly two years ago,” he said still grinning. Then he held her back looking at her admirably and said, “God Shea, you look great - and a Doctor no less. You did good Princess Shea. Pretty damn good for a scrawny little Indian Princess brat from the hood!”

Kaitlin just stood there with her mouth open looking back and forth between the two of them. Then Leroy looked over at her like he just remembered she was there and started to explain still embracing Shea.  “It's a small town Kate. Shania - Shea - or Dr. Bailey as you know her - and I went to school together and for awhile we were in the same foster home. She was Shea Crowe back then. I didn't know she was going to be your therapist. Hell, I didn't know she was back in town.”

Shea turned and addressed Kaitlin, “That's why I became a therapist Kaitlin. There were so many kids that needed help as they got older and came out of foster care. I figured I had lived it so maybe I could offer some real help. Leroy's a good man. If it hadn't been for him, I'm not sure I would have survived. He's right - scrawny little Indian Princess. No one picked on me when Leroy was around. Have him tell you what he did for some of the other kids sometime.”

Kaitlin suddenly felt the room closing in. She could hear the two of them talking but not what they were saying. She just wanted to go get out of there away from the gorgeous woman that was too touchy-feely with her husband and made her feel dumpy and homely. She began to breathe too fast.

Suddenly the woman was touching her and talking to her. “Kaitlin,” said Shea alarmed by her breathing, “Honey, can you hear me?”

Kaitlin nodded her head as she continued to back away. The woman sounded like she was in a well.

“Okay good, now breathe slowly for me. Can you do that? Calm slow breaths.”

Kaitlin was confused as she tried to comply with her wishes. This was her doctor...not someone trying to steal her husband, no not Newt, Leroy. Leroy, where was he? She looked around frantically. When she saw him he just smiled weakly at her but didn't move, but seeing him helped.

“That's it. You're doing good. Better now?” asked Shea.

Shea nodded her head and Leroy walked over to Kaitlin and took her hands in his. At Leroy's touch she calmed even more.

Shea turned to Leroy. “I think she's going to be okay now.” Then she turned to Kaitlin and said, “Kaitlin, would you feel better coming back sooner?”

Kaitlin leaned into Leroy, her immediate sense of fear now gone but leaving her feeling exhausted. “No, I'm sorry Dr. Bailey. I don't know what happened.”

“Please, just call me Shea. So Kaitlin what just happened was the beginning of a panic attack. I will begin to help you learn how to get in front of them and what the triggers are. I have a feeling I know but we can talk about it next week. Unless, well since I know Leroy, would you feel better with a different therapist?”

"No!!” exclaimed Kaitlin nervously. “I - I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so embarrassed!”

Shannon laughed, “Don't be. At least I know how you feel. Take her home Leroy and let her soak in the tub. She needs to relax. Today was stressful for her in a number of ways. Kaitlin, I bet you’ll feel better when you get home." Then she turned to Leroy and handed him a package. "Leroy here 's some info on PTSD and how to help Kaitlin when she begins to have panic attacks or flashbacks. See you next week. If you need anything before then, just call.”

"Thanks Dr. Bailey, uh Shea," said Kaitlin.

"Come on babe, let's get you home," said Leroy tenderly as he ushered her out of the office not letting go of her for one second.

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