Chapter 44 - Happy Birthday Part 1 of 3

Rolled 6 - Broken window pay $200 

The weeks flew by and Kaitlin had seen Dr. Shea (Shea felt too personal) a couple of more times and so far had not had any additional attacks. Of course since Leroy understood better that he was inadvertently causing them, Kaitlin felt like he had become even more measured in his tone and topics of conversation and that made her sad. She felt like she was pushing him away and that wasn’t what she wanted to do.

The first thing they had talked about was what had happened in the waiting room. Dr. Shea helped Kaitlin understand what had ”triggered” her panic attack.

Evidently, Kaitlin had seen Shea as a threat similar to the gorgeous and successful women that Newt would blatantly hit on when they were at business parties and functions, which made her feel like a dumpy housewife and not worthy of Newt's affections. Shea and Leroy’s closeness brought out those old feelings of insecurity and fear that she had pushed deep down when she ran. When they rushed to the surface she wasn't equipped to deal with them.

During today’s session, Dr. Shea asked Kaitlin if she was ready to have Leroy join them. “It would help you both,” she said. When Kaitlin only nodded her head in resigned agreement, Dr. Shea added, “I can tell you would rather not. How does it make you feel when you ask him for help?”


Kaitlin began to cry silently and Dr. Shea pushed the tissues to her. “I'm afraid of breaking him,” squeaked out Kaitlin.

“Can you explain what ‘breaking him’ means to you?”

“I broke Newt. He wasn't always violent. But I trapped him into a life he didn’t want and I was never good enough for him. He finally broke and became violent. I don't want to hurt Leroy like I did Newt. I’m afraid of making him angry and I do so much that makes him get mad.”

Dr. Shea sat down next to Kaitlin. “Okay. Let's stop there Kaitlin,” she said sternly but softly, “you have to begin to understand and accept that you did not cause Newt to become violent. You didn't ‘break’ him as you put it. It was a choice he made…”

Kaitlin shook her head. She didn't understand so Kaitlin put up her hand to stop her.

“Let me finish,” said Shea gently, “You need to hear this Kaitlin. Not every couple that argues becomes violent with one another. Now, can I tell you what drove him to that? Not precisely, but it most certainly wasn’t you, but more likely a feeling of entitlement, that he had to be in control and hitting you made you subservient to him. It gave him power that maybe he felt he didn't have but deserved. Honey, it’s like an addiction - a power rush of sorts. Tell me, did he attempt to control you in other ways before that? Verbally, calling you names, using you for sex?”

Kaitlin looked down at the wadded up tissue in her hands and sadly nodded her head.

“I'm sorry to be so blunt, but in order to heal, you have to stop blaming yourself. I want you to do something for me. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. I want you to think about Leroy now….”

Kaitlin relaxed thinking about Leroy and Dr. Shea smiled and said quietly. “Oh...you do love him. I can see it in your body language. Keep your eyes closed for me and relax. Now Kaitlin, thinking about Leroy, does he try to control you? Has he ever tried to take advantage of you or been anything but respectful towards you?”

Fresh tears started to leak from under her closed eyes as Kaitlin shook her head no to all of Shea’s questions. She murmured quietly, “I don't deserve him.”

“It's okay Kaitlin. Stay focused and keep your eyes closed please. That's good. Now imagine a time when he was angry. Now, tell me about the argument.”

Kaitlin didn't want to think about him getting mad at her so she shook her head harder.

“It's okay Kaitlin, relax. Nothing bad will happen. Tell me about it. What were you talking about?”

“Reid...they are trying to get evidence against him.”

“Why did you argue about that?”

“Because it’s my fault. I brought Reid into our lives and he is causing problems for Leroy,”

“And Leroy got angry why?”

“Leroy got mad because I wasn't happy that they may have found evidence against Reid that could send him to prison.”

“Then what happened Kaitlin - did Leroy threaten you or hurt you?”

“No. He raised his voice and asked what was wrong with me that I wasn’t happy about it.”

“And then what happened?”

“I got confused. Newt was there, but then he wasn't and Leroy was holding me close.”

“You thought Leroy was Newt when he got angry?”

“It was him, but then it wasn’t.”

Dr. Shea gently touched Kaitlin's arm. “Kaitlin, you can open your eyes now,” she said soothingly, “That's enough for today. Try to remember, Leroy didn’t hurt you. In fact he comforted you instead even though he was angry with you.

I want you to think about what I told you about not breaking Newt. He was already broken long before you came into his life. He made the choice to strike out and he will have to make the choice to stop. Newt is not your fault. Let that be your mantra. I want you to work on letting that go. Don’t give him that power over you.”

“But why…”

“We can talk about that more next time,” then she paused for a second and asked, “Kaitlin, can I tell you something - friend to friend?”

Friend to friend? I guess she is Leroy’s friend but does that make her mine? thought Kaitlin. "Umm, I guess so,” she answered as she stood up to leave.

Dr. Shea stood up and smiled apologetically. “Kaitlin I have known Leroy for a long time and the only way you would break him is if you left him. He would have a broken heart a mile wide but he still wouldn't become Newt. That man adores you. When he gives himself, he doesn't hold back. I promise you. I know. And he has given himself to you. He is very lucky to have a strong woman like you to love him back as fiercely as you do.”

Kaitlin swallowed hard before replying. “So, how do I stop upsetting him?”

“You don’t. Being upset with your partner from time to time is normal Kaitlin. You will be upset with him too on occasion.  And it is okay to be upset and argue about differing opinions. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love and respect you or that he will strike out at you or your children or even leave you.

Now, remember what I said to work on this week. Newt is not your fault. Oh - and Happy Birthday tomorrow! Are you doing anything special? ”

“Thanks Dr. Shea, and yes actually. Leroy is taking me out," replied Kaitlin then smiled and added, “He said it’s a surprise. Guess I can tell you about it next week."

Kaitlin walked out thinking about what Dr. Shea said about Leroy ‘friend to friend’. How does she know he doesn't 'hold back'. Were they lovers in high school and she left him when he got in trouble? He touched her so intimately. They had to have been close. But she didn't seem jealous and she IS married. But then that never bothered Newt. No. She stopped herself. She didn’t want to think about Newt. At. All. Nope. Newt wasn’t happening. That was the past and tomorrow was her birthday and she was going to spend it with the man she loves.

Go to Chapter 44 - Part 2 of 3

Go Back to Chapter 43 - Part 3 of 3

Chapter 43 - Help Part 2 of 2

 A/N - In this chapter I was honored to be able to collaborate with CathyTea. For those of you that are involved in CathyTea’s Pen Pal Project you may be aware that Kaitlin, Leroy and even Newt are a part of that and each have pen pals they are corresponding with regarding their experiences as it relates to this story. Kaitlin's pen pal is Meadow who is written by CathyTea.

As an author I have gained additional insight into these characters through their correspondence - especially Newt who we haven't heard from (so far) in this story.  To see how he’s handling his wife and kids running away, go here.

If you would like to read some amazing stories or even participate (you don't have to have a side story) head on over to the Pen Pal forum thread.  The stories are wildly varied and it doesn’t matter which Sims game is your favorite. In fact Meadow is TS4 while Kaitlin is TS3.

In Meadow's last letter to Kaitlin, she gave Kaitlin her phone number. In this chapter, Kaitlin decides to call Meadow. Meadow's dialogue was written by CathyTea. It was so much fun to do.It was like a real phone conversation! Thank you so much CathyTea! You are amazing. If you haven't you should check out her amazing stories on her blog here.

Now on to Kaitlin's story....

Kaitlin was nervous. It had been a week since her last episode and this afternoon was her first appointment. She had no idea what was going to happen. She was just about ready to call Leroy and make up an excuse not to go. She felt guilty because he gave her $500 to use for this, but still.

Then she thought about Meadow’s last letter. Meadow had encouraged her to seek help. In fact Meadow was very much involved in a crisis center for domestic abuse so she should know what she was talking about. And in her last letter she did something she never expected. Meadow included her phone number. Kaitlin wrote her back and included her number as well, so hopefully if she did call, Meadow would know for sure who was calling.

Kaitlin took out her phone and pulled up her contacts and found Meadow's number. She stared at for a minute thinking. Should I call? What would she say? Will she think I’m certifiable? Kaitlin looked at the number a little longer and decided. Now or never and touched Meadow's name on her phone and it began to ring.

Kaitlin held her breath both wishing and she would and wouldn't answer. After a minute the voice of an angel answered saying only one word, “Kaitlin?”

"Yes, it’s me. Meadow is this really you?" asked Kaitlin holding her breath.

"Kaitlin! I can't believe it! You sound just like you! How are you? Is everything OK?" Meadow’s words were tinkly and rushed.

Kaitlin was afraid she had overstepped and maybe she shouldn’t have called without first establishing a time. "Meadow! I can't believe I called you, but I am fine, really. Everything's okay. You sound even sweeter than I imagined! Like an angel. Is it okay that I called? Is this a bad time?" she said apologetically.

"Oh, it's a perfect time! I'm on a walk, actually! I just had to get out of the house. It was so... noisy! And I'd been in class all day, and I'm trying to put together my thoughts on the ways that painting on large canvases helps to reintegrate split off... Oh, never mind! It's just a project for class, a paper I'm writing, and Jena and Mizuki and Youssef were making all sorts of noise, and I just had to get out! But now I'm outside, and I can breathe! What's new with you? I'm so glad you called!"

Meadow’s voice somehow calmed Kaitlin and she was able to relax listening to Meadow’s funny way of talking. Just like she did in her letters. So very Meadow. She made Kaitlin laugh.

"With 8 of us living in a 2 bedroom apartment, noise is my life!” said Kaitlin still laughing, “If it gets quiet - something is wrong! From one mom to another, don't forget that little tidbit. When you don't hear Jena making noise, she is doing something she shouldn't be - especially when she starts to bring playmates over! I'm glad you had a chance to get our for a few minutes though. Are you sure I'm not disturbing your quiet time?"

"Not at all!" replied Meadow, with an audible exhale, and her voice dropped half an octave when she continued. "I'm here. You're here! I'm ready to listen."

"Okay," said Kaitlin with a sigh. Here goes she thought. "Ever since I got your last letter with your number, I have been tempted to call, but didn't want to impose. But now, well, Meadow, something did happen and it scared me really bad. So I am taking your and Leroy's advice and I have an appointment with a therapist this afternoon. I am so nervous and just wanted to talk to you before I went and a letter would just take too long. So here I am."

"I'm glad you called! And it's normal to be nervous. Even your therapist will be expecting you to feel nervous! This is one of the hard parts--heading to the first visit. You can do it!"

"That’s the thing though," said Kaitlin and then started talking fast just to get everything out, "You see I had a really bad flashback last week and I thought Leroy was Newt and Reese came in and saw it and it upset everyone. My poor baby - young man. He cried and Meadow, I haven't seen him cry since he was a little boy," Kaitlin took a breath. It felt good to get that out. She finished slower, "I can't do that to him or Leroy again. So, I agreed to go. It's today, oh, I already said that." Then she snorted a little and said, "Leroy is taking me. He said for moral support but he probably wants to be sure I get there."

"Oh, I'm glad he's taking you," Meadow said. "Leroy's really there for you. You know, going there is good. Right now, it sounds like you're going for them. And that's fine because it gets you in the door. And maybe sometime, maybe even before too long, you can go for you."

"You are right. He is here for me," then she giggled, "in more ways than one. He just walked in. I guess I am doing this. Wish me luck. And thank you for being there. It really helps more that you know.”

Then she turned and lowered her voice so Leroy wouldn’t hear, “I was thinking of excuses to back out when I called you,” then in a normal voice she added, “I guess we aren't just pen pals anymore are we? Hug Jena for me. Bye now."

"Oh! Good luck! Let me know how it goes! I will hug Jena for you! And big hugs to all your littlies! Until next time! Bye!"

Kaitlin disconnected the call feeling better but still very nervous. Meadow helped her just by talking to her and not judging her. Meadow said she was going for her family and not herself. She wondered why she would say that. Shouldn’t she be doing this for her family?

She felt Leroy’s eyes on her back and turned around. He had a questioning look on his face but didn’t say anything. She knew he was dying to know who she was talking to but right now she couldn’t. She needed to keep Meadow to herself a little longer. She smiled and said, “I will tell you later, no secrets.”

“Ready then?” he asked holding his hand out to her.


Kaitlin shrugged and frowned, “As ready as I will ever be.”

 * * * *

Kaitlin sat in the waiting room with Leroy. He looked so calm. How could he look so calm while she felt like throwing up. He insisted on coming ‘for moral support’ but she knew better. He needed to see her go into the doctor's office.

Before she arrived she had filled out so much paperwork and completed so many questionnaires she couldn't think straight. Leroy offered to help, but she refused. She already looked weak to him, she didn't want to validate it with her crazy answers.

Finally it was her turn. When the receptionist walked over she got a sick feeling. Leroy hugged her one last time and whispered that he loved her and it would be okay before she followed the young woman back to Dr. Bailey’s office.

She didn't know what she expected but it wasn't what she saw when she walked in Dr. Bailey’s office. It was anything but clinical. She felt like she was sitting in someone's cozy living room. Dr. Bailey was a beautiful soft spoken woman around the same age as Kaitlin and she immediately put her at ease.

They spent her hour just getting acquainted. Dr. Bailey confirmed her diagnosis of PTSD. She wanted to see her once a week for the next few weeks. Then Dr. Bailey asked her if they could bring her 'friend' in to talk about her diagnosis. Kaitlin hesitated and Dr. Bailey immediately said it wasn't required. Then she asked if she could give her some material for him to read. Kaitlin nodded. She wasn't sure why she didn't want Dr. Bailey to talk to Leroy yet. She just wasn't ready. It was hard enough to admit she had a problem, much less burden him with so much more of it.

Dr. Bailey walked out with Kaitlin and told the receptionist to book her weekly appointments for the next few weeks. Leroy saw them and stood up and walked over. Dr. Bailey looked at Leroy and her eyes lit up. She turned to Kaitlin and asked, “Is this your Leroy?”

Kaitlin smiled, “Yes. Leroy, meet Dr. Bailey, Dr. Bailey, this is Leroy Chapman.”

“Hi Shania,” said Leroy grinning.

“Hi Leroy,” replied Dr. Bailey smiling ear to ear. Instead of shaking her hand Leroy pulled her into a bear hug lifting her off the floor, “Oh my god! How have you been?” she said after her put her back on the ground.

“Good. Better since Kate came into my life nearly two years ago,” he said still grinning. Then he held her back looking at her admirably and said, “God Shea, you look great - and a Doctor no less. You did good Princess Shea. Pretty damn good for a scrawny little Indian Princess brat from the hood!”

Kaitlin just stood there with her mouth open looking back and forth between the two of them. Then Leroy looked over at her like he just remembered she was there and started to explain still embracing Shea.  “It's a small town Kate. Shania - Shea - or Dr. Bailey as you know her - and I went to school together and for awhile we were in the same foster home. She was Shea Crowe back then. I didn't know she was going to be your therapist. Hell, I didn't know she was back in town.”

Shea turned and addressed Kaitlin, “That's why I became a therapist Kaitlin. There were so many kids that needed help as they got older and came out of foster care. I figured I had lived it so maybe I could offer some real help. Leroy's a good man. If it hadn't been for him, I'm not sure I would have survived. He's right - scrawny little Indian Princess. No one picked on me when Leroy was around. Have him tell you what he did for some of the other kids sometime.”

Kaitlin suddenly felt the room closing in. She could hear the two of them talking but not what they were saying. She just wanted to go get out of there away from the gorgeous woman that was too touchy-feely with her husband and made her feel dumpy and homely. She began to breathe too fast.

Suddenly the woman was touching her and talking to her. “Kaitlin,” said Shea alarmed by her breathing, “Honey, can you hear me?”

Kaitlin nodded her head as she continued to back away. The woman sounded like she was in a well.

“Okay good, now breathe slowly for me. Can you do that? Calm slow breaths.”

Kaitlin was confused as she tried to comply with her wishes. This was her doctor...not someone trying to steal her husband, no not Newt, Leroy. Leroy, where was he? She looked around frantically. When she saw him he just smiled weakly at her but didn't move, but seeing him helped.

“That's it. You're doing good. Better now?” asked Shea.

Shea nodded her head and Leroy walked over to Kaitlin and took her hands in his. At Leroy's touch she calmed even more.

Shea turned to Leroy. “I think she's going to be okay now.” Then she turned to Kaitlin and said, “Kaitlin, would you feel better coming back sooner?”

Kaitlin leaned into Leroy, her immediate sense of fear now gone but leaving her feeling exhausted. “No, I'm sorry Dr. Bailey. I don't know what happened.”

“Please, just call me Shea. So Kaitlin what just happened was the beginning of a panic attack. I will begin to help you learn how to get in front of them and what the triggers are. I have a feeling I know but we can talk about it next week. Unless, well since I know Leroy, would you feel better with a different therapist?”

"No!!” exclaimed Kaitlin nervously. “I - I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so embarrassed!”

Shannon laughed, “Don't be. At least I know how you feel. Take her home Leroy and let her soak in the tub. She needs to relax. Today was stressful for her in a number of ways. Kaitlin, I bet you’ll feel better when you get home." Then she turned to Leroy and handed him a package. "Leroy here 's some info on PTSD and how to help Kaitlin when she begins to have panic attacks or flashbacks. See you next week. If you need anything before then, just call.”

"Thanks Dr. Bailey, uh Shea," said Kaitlin.

"Come on babe, let's get you home," said Leroy tenderly as he ushered her out of the office not letting go of her for one second.

Go to Chapter 44 - Happy Birthday Part 1 of 3

Go Back to Chapter 43 - Help Part 1 of 2

Chapter 43 - Help - Part 1 of 2

Rolled 5 - Found wallet with $500

When Reese finally left Kate's room and went to his bed, Leroy quietly slipped into bed next to her, being careful not to wake her. He wanted to be there if she woke up but hoped she slept. Thankfully she slept.

The next morning Leroy got up early and made coffee so he and Kate could discuss the events of the previous evening before everyone woke.

When the coffee was ready he changed clothes before quietly padded into the bedroom being careful not to wake the sleeping children. Kate was already awake, probably having smelled the coffee. She smiled when she saw him and his heart broke. My brave and sexy Kate. Then she mouthed ‘coffee’ raising her eyebrows? He nodded his head and he bent over and kissed her then turned around and went back to the kitchen to wait for her.

Kaitlin walked in, grabbed a cup and sat down with Leroy, “Thanks for making coffee. You are an angel sent from Heaven,” she said smiling warmly.

“Ha. Coffee Angel from Heaven,” he said with a laugh, “My love, I shall serve you coffee every morning from now on if it makes you this happy.”

“Ohhh - My love? And promises of daily coffee?” she asked laughing, “You sound like Ben and Dakota now. Have they been giving you bribery lessons? Spill, what do you want?”

Leroy tried to smile but the playful mood quickly dissipated with Kate's last question. For you to get help, thought Leroy, to get all of this madness behind us and take you as my wife. But first and foremost was getting his sexy Kate in a better place. Instead of answering he asked his own question, “How are you feeling this morning?”

Kaitlin let out a breath and took a drink of her coffee before answering. “Like I have a huge hangover. I take it you told Reese that his mother's ready for the loony bin. He held on to me like he might never see me again.”

“He didn't tell you?" asked Leroy.

"No," she said simply.

"We spoke. I think he understands what's going on. I'm not gonna lie Kate, he took it hard. He just wants you to be okay.”


Kaitlin averted her eyes before responding. “Yeah...he did sort of fall apart. I haven't seen him cry since he was a small boy,” she put her hand over her face and appeared to compose herself before continuing. “It was all I could do to hold it together for him. He needed to let go. He has been holding a lot inside for a long time trying to be strong for me - for all of us. That's why I didn't want him to know. But after my performance last night I suppose the proverbial cat's outta the bag.”

When she looked up at Leroy tears were swimming in her eyes. He felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. “Thanks for telling him. It had to be hard," she said fighting her tears.

Leroy thought Reese went in to comfort his mother and instead she comforted him? What the hell? “Wait, Reese cried on your shoulder? Damn. Kate, sweetheart, we really need to talk about what happened. He said he wanted to be there for you. I would never had allowed him to go in there had I known he couldn't hold it together. You shouldn't have had to comfort him!”

Kaitlin studied her coffee again before answering. She swiped at the tears and finally looked at Leroy. “Don't be upset with Reese. He did comfort me. We drew strength from each other. It's the first time he has allowed himself to acknowledge the pain of all that he - we - have been going through. I think we both just finally mourned what we lost and what it cost us. We simply comforted each other. It felt good to hold him like that. He will always be my baby even if he had to grow up way too fast. Leaving home, then the babies and now me....it was too much. Please, don't judge him Leroy. Was that what you wanted or was there something else?”

Now that he had a child of his own, he could understand better the love she has for her children. How she tried to protect her oldest from the deeper issues surrounding them. But that didn't change the fact that she needed help. Leroy let out a breath before responding, “You need to see a doctor Kate. Last night was -”

Kate put up her hand stopping Leroy from continuing. “Awful -I know. Okay. You don't have to say more. I will. I will have to dig into to my savings to pay for it, but I can't do this anymore. What if Ben or Dakota....I am terrified. It happens so often now and I don't know why or how to stop it.”

Leroy was relieved and felt a weight lift off his shoulders. "Honey, I am going to deposit $1,000 in your account - an early birthday present from me to help with the cost. It's totally selfish. The faster you can buy a home the faster you can divorce Newt."

"No Leroy! That's too much!" she protested.

Damn proud woman! though Leroy. "Then let's start with $500 okay. See how it goes," he negotiated.

Kaitlin sighed. "Okay. $500 then," she said defeated.

He jumped up and scooped her into his arms hugging and kissing her and talking all at the same time. “Come here baby. I love you so much. And you, please, let me worry about the money part of this. It's for both of us - hell - all of us. And no arguments. You are too stubborn for your own good. I will find a good therapist - unless you already know one but I don't want you to worry about it.”

 “Ewww! Mooom, I'm hungry,” came a sleepy voice from behind them and Kaitlin started to giggle. It was quickly joined by a softer, “Me too. Can we have French Toast Mommy K” “Yes! French Toast!” said the first voice.

Leroy looked behind him to see Ben and his shadow, Dakota, standing there waiting for an answer and his smile grew bigger. Things were going to be okay. His sexy Kate was going to get help and they would make it work. He let go of Kate and grabbed Dakota and hugged her tight before he tossed her in the air as she squealed, "Daddy Roy!" and began to giggle wildly to which Leroy responded, "Good morning little bug!"

"Leroy!" said Kaitlin, "Shhh! Be quiet and put her down! The babies!"

But Leroy didn't care if he woke the whole apartment complex. Kate was going to get help and she was going to let him pay. Things were going to be okay.


Go to Chapter 43 - Part 2 of 2

Go back to Chapter 42 - Part 3 of 3

Chapter 42 - Thanksgiving Part 3 of 3

Since Brooke's brother had come over, she decided to just go home with them instead of making Reese drive her. Reese kissed Brooke goodbye and rode the elevator back up thinking about maybe having another piece of pie.

When he opened the door thoughts of pie flew out of his head. His mother was pleading with Leroy to leave her alone. They both froze when he walked in as if caught doing something they shouldn't.


Then his mother told him to leave just like she did the day before they ran. He didn't leave her then and he wasn't going to leave her now. No, that asshole Leroy was going to leave this time.

Then Leroy said something to him about a flashback. But why would she have a flashback? Leroy was never cruel to her or was he? He didn't know his father was for a long time either. That wasn't going to happen again.

Then his mother called him Newt and repeated the same words that were etched in his mind the day his father punched him. He held out his arms and said gently, “Mom - it’s okay, come to me. Dad's not here. It's okay,”

He was relieved when she came to him after checking that Leroy wasn't going to be a threat.  He wanted that bastard gone now. “Leave now, asshole” he gritted out.

Leroy looked like he was going to be sick and just stood there for a minute. Finally he said, “Reese, just hold her until she calms down. I will go in the bedroom and wait, but I'm not leaving. Okay?”

Reese was in no position to argue and as long as he was out of sight maybe his mother would be okay. He just nodded towards the bedroom door and Leroy simply turned and walked out of the room. Now he was there alone with his mother not really knowing what happened or what to do.

“It's okay now mom. He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore,” said Reese as he rubbed her back, “Come on, let's sit down.”

Kaitlin looked up at Reese seemingly confused and let him lead her to the couch. “Mom, what happened? Are you okay now?” he asked when they were seated.

“What? I think so...Reese, you're not hurt...Oh God, I thought...where is Leroy?” asked Kaitlin frantic.

“I sent him away, you were trying to get away from him.”

“You, you saw that, oh Reese I'm so sorry,” she said as she buried her head in her hands.

Reese looked up as Leroy walked in. He must have heard them talking. “Don't you think you've done enough damage already? You should go before I call the cops.”


“No Reese,” interjected Kaitlin sadly, “He didn't do anything.”

“Then why were you running from him?”

“I wasn't, I thought he was your father. I was running from him,” replied Kaitlin now crying softly.

Leroy walked over and sat down next to Kaitlin. “She was having a flashback Reese,” he said as he took her hand, “At least I'm pretty sure that's what it was.”

Reese wasn't convinced. He had never seen his mother act like this before. She always seemed in control except for the day he found her crying when she broke up with Reid. Leroy's fault too, he thought. Ignoring Leroy, he addressed his mother, “Mom, I don't understand. This hasn't happened before - he must have done something to make you this upset. You're still shaking.”

“I’m okay baby. I'm sorry you had to see that,” said Kaitlin.

Reese was confused. He knew there was more they weren't telling him. He could tell by the way Leroy was looking at her when she said that. Then Leroy finally spoke to Kaitlin, “Tell him Kate or I will.”

Shit, does she have brain cancer or something? thought Reese. “Tell me what Mom? Are you sick?”

Kaitlin looked at her son and squeezed Leroy’s hand. “Leroy, I can't - you tell him.”

“Kate, do you want to go lie down first?” asked Leroy, “You really need to rest.”

“Okay,” she said weakly.

When Leroy returned Reese was fuming. “So, are you going to tell me what's wrong with her? And no lies. I want the truth.”

“Reese, I have never lied to you. I hope you believe that. I never wanted anything but the best for your mother, you and the kids.”

Yes, that's why you got her pregnant when she was with Reid, he thought. “Then what is it?”

“From what research I've done I think your mother has PTSD.”

“You mean like the service men that are sent to war get? That's ridiculous. Just because she got hit a few times? No. She has never acted like that before and I have been around her a helluva lot longer than you. If she has that, it's your fault! You're scaring her.”

“Reese, dammit! This is exactly why I made her lie down. She doesn't need to hear you saying there's nothing wrong. She doesn't want to admit anything is wrong, but it's been getting worse and now she realizes, especially after tonight, that something is wrong and it scares her. I didn't know what was going on either at first and just thought she was afraid of me and it pissed me off. Reese, you have to know I would never hurt her. I love your mother and she loves me. I think, because we are closer now, certain things are causing her to have flashbacks. Tonight she thought I was Newt. She even said so. I was trying to calm her when you came in.”

Reese tried to process what he was saying. His mother definitely was happier with Leroy around. She lit up when he walked into a room. And she looked at Leroy the same way Brooke looked at him. Leroy was right, she was reliving the night before they ran. So why was she doing that? He looked at Leroy, unshed tears making his eyes glisten as he thought about that night. Reese swallowed hard before speaking. “She said the exact same thing tonight that she said when my father hit me that last day before we ran. I will never forget her words.”

Leroy looked at him with sadness in his eyes. “I don't know exactly why she is having these flashbacks but have an idea. She didn't have any intimate relationships when you first moved here. So there was nothing to “trigger” her. But now, things are more normal,” Leroy snorted before continuing, “well not normal, but you understand what I mean. She has a home and a job. Now that she isn't fighting for survival, there is concern that your father may find out where she is before she deems herself ready to divorce him and he will take you are your siblings away from her.”

Reese started to protest, “Let me finish. So she has different pressures, plus our relationship. She feels so damn guilty for everything. She hasn't accepted that none of this is her fault. So if we have an argument, she gets 'triggered' and those old feelings that she hasn't dealt with surface and take over. Reese, I only got mad at her tonight because she was apologizing again and that was all it took. I just wanted her to understand it's not her fault. Based on what you just said, she wasn't with us a few minutes ago. She was back at that night. She needs help we are not qualified to give her. Based on her willingness for me to tell you, I think maybe she is finally ready to accept that help.”

Reese was furious with Leroy, “You broke her. She loves you and you broke her!”

“No Reese. Newt broke her. Your father caused this!”

“She was fine before you!” said Reese swiping at the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Reese! Stop it. Listen to yourself. You don't really believe what you just said. I get that you're angry and want to lash out but that won't help your mother. She needs you to be strong and not make her feel more guilty. It was brave of her to even let me tell you. If she didn't trust me she wouldn't have.”

“I need to see her,” said Reese turning to walk away.

Leroy grabbed his arm and stopped him. “No. Not like this. You handled her well earlier. If you go in there it's going to be to support her not blame me. Remember, Newt is the asshole here, not me. And right now, your Mom needs support and therapy, not her son arguing with her over me. I will wait out here and give you two some privacy, but understand, I will always be a part of Kate’s life unless she tells me to leave.”

Reese shrugged his arm from Leroy's grip. He knew Leroy was right and it pissed him off. It was just so hard to see his mother like that. He took a deep breath, scrubbed his hands over his face and went into the bedroom to tell his mom it was going to be okay and hold her hand until she fell asleep.

When Reese walked in, his mother sat up in bed with a sad smile on her face. She patted the side of the bed next to her for him to join her. Reese tried to swallow down the lump in his throat as he crawled up in the bed beside his mother. She pulled him to her and whispered, “Thank you baby. It’s gonna be okay.”

He wrapped his arms around her and the dam burst. The tears came silently as his whole body shook with his sobs. His mother held him like she did when he was little and let him cry in her arms. He was pretty sure she was crying too.

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